Self Confidence, or lack thereof, can be the biggest barrier to carrying. So often parents are worried. Worried they won't do it right. Worried they will make a mistake. Worried because they are tired and exhausted and learning so many things and this is another thing to learn. Worried because the first time they tried it it didn't feel right, or because baby cried and it wasn't the instant magic calming device the picture on the box promised.
The marketing sections of the big brand carrier manufacturers KNOW this. So they produce carriers that promise to "be easier than....", that promise they can just be slipped on with no tying, or no adjusting or whatever buzz word they think sounds easiest. They build whole campaigns around telling you how easy it is compared to everything else and feed into your fears that other products might be too hard for you. They give free ones to social media influencers who have probably never tried anything else so these social media influencers can tell you how easy and simple it is use. But what they don't tell you in this big marketing campaign is the downsides. They don't tell you what you've lost by not being able to adjust or being able to tie. They don't tell you it won't last as long, requiring you to buy another carrier (probably from them) in a few months time. Nor do they tell you it won't fit your body if your this body shape or if your between sizes, or that it might fit you but not your partner so you'll have to buy two. Because if they told you these things you wouldn't buy it!
The fact is - you are amazing. You can learn whatever you want to. I have never met a parent who has wanted to learn a sling - like a stretchy wrap, a ring sling or a woven wrap or anything - that hasn't been able too. But I have met many that have become convinced that they won't be able to because of marketing campaigns that have fed into their insecurities that "they won't be able to". That they should spend more money to buy something "easier". I have met parents who don't want to learn, and that is fine. But this is rarer, most parents I met love the idea of a soft sling or carrier but are worried that they won't manage. Normally all it takes is 10-20 minutes of going through it step by step and they are amazed at just how easy it is really and that they really can do it.
Another fact is there simply isn't anything easier. ALL slings and carriers, ABSOLUTELY ALL OF THEM, have some kind of learning curve. All of them take a few goes to get the hang of getting completely right for you and baby. And that is OK. It is OK that you might not get the hang of it first time, and that baby might bawl the first time (usually for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with the sling or carrier). Be kind to yourself. You wouldn't expect a child learning to write to start by writing full sentances with perfect spelling and grammar! Likewise don't expect yourself to nail this first time either!
The simple fact is that when it comes to babywearing it's practise over product. It matters far more how you use something that what you have. If you have a carrier or sling and it's not working, or your not sure how your using it, you don't have to buy something new that markets itself as easier. I mean you can if you want to, but you don't have to. Instead invest time, or better still reach out to me or a local babywearing consultant like me and ask for help.
I can take you step by step through your carrier and demystify it. An online consultation can be perfect for this. I can't tell you how many times I have seen eureaka moments in my clients eyes as they realise actually the carrier they have is easy, and can be comfortable and safe... and that all it took was a different approach, or a small tweak. Or how many expectant parents have come to be expecting to buy something else because a wrap would be too hard for them and have left full of joy and confidence ready to snuggle their newborn in a stretchy wrap instead. I can help ensure you are confident in whatever you use, because truly you are amazing and you can do it. Babywearing has been around for centries, taught from person to person... far before the advent of manuals and social media campaign. Invest time in developing your skill and building your confidence - I promise it will be worth it.
-Madeleine
One thought on “Self Confidence and Baby Carriers and why "easier" isn't always best”